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2024-10-04 16:16:18 UTC
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PermalinkYeah. And my little fella acts embarrassed after he finishes with stuffie.
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: The Free Press <***@substack.com>
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2024 at 3:11 AM
Subject: TGIF: Justice for Bear 402
TGIF: Justice for Bear 402
Catastrophe in the Southeast, the VP snoozefest, Doug the Dog, and your
right to yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater. Plus: Leave the pornographers
alone.
Katie Herzog
J.D. Vance and Tim Walz at the end of Tuesday’s vice presidential
debate. (Photo by Angela Weiss via Getty Images)
I’m back! Nellie promised that I’d never have to do this again but it’s
one of those Jewish holidays where they aren’t allowed to blog (it’s in
the Torah), so she scrolled through her phone looking for goys and
somehow I was the first. Shana Tova! And TGIF.
→ Hurricane Helene ravages the Southeast: (snipped)
→ Veep debate is nothing like the TV show: On Tuesday, vice presidential
candidates J.D. Vance and Tim Walz faced off for their first and only
debate. As a committed libtard, I hate to admit it, but J.D. clearly won
and I’m not just saying that because he (kill me) has pretty eyes (need
his eyeliner rec). He knows how to command the camera while Tim Walz
looks as if Uga the bulldog got busted humping a stuffie. What Vance has
really mastered is the art of the pivot. When asked about Donald Trump’s
repeated contention that climate change is a hoax, did Vance admit that,
yes, his boss has in fact said that? No! Of course not. He pivoted,
blaming Democrats for not doing more to increase manufacturing and
energy production in the U.S. Does it make sense? Not really! Climate
policy is about much more than manufacturing solar panels, and actually
believing that climate change is real is a good starting point to, you
know, do something about it. That said, Vance did at least mention
nuclear energy, and because I came of age in the Dubya era, it’s always
a pleasant surprise when a Republican politician knows how to pronounce it.
Vance’s finest moment came toward the end, when he was asked about his
own past criticism of Trump, who he has described as an “idiot” and
“Hitler.” I was curious how he’d manage to handle this one, but he
batted the claim away and immediately blamed the media. “I’ve always
been extremely open about the fact that I was wrong about Donald Trump,”
Vance said on Tuesday night. “I was wrong, first of all, because I
believed some of the media stories that turned out to be dishonest
fabrications of his record.” You could almost hear Trump’s inner
monologue from his fourth TV room at Mar-a-Lago. Good boy. Good J.D. You
got ’em.
And yet, even though Vance is the better debater, it’s not because he’s
a better person. Sure, Walz may have lied about being in Tiananmen
Square, but who hasn’t told a story to impress, say, a new date. . . or
the entire nation? I once told a new date that I’m a Gemini when I’m
actually a Taurus. Things happen! What matters here is policy, and
Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have one (they do have one, right?).
Probably the lowest point for the Dems was when Tim Walz, who has
repeatedly shown himself to be constitutionally illiterate, dropped the
old you-can’t-yell-“fire”-in-a-crowded-theater canard in response to
J.D. Vance’s (correct) opinion that both Democrats and Republicans
should oppose censorship. “That’s the Supreme Court test,” said Walz.
The thing is, it’s not the test and you can yell “fire” in a crowded
theater. The Supreme Court has never heard a case about yelling “fire”
in a crowded theater. The quote itself is a paraphrase from Supreme
Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes’ opinion in a 1919 case, and that
case was effectively overturned in 1969. So you can yell “fire” in a
crowded theater. What you can’t do is talk on your cell phone.
Overall, the debate was largely civil, somewhat substantive, and
frankly, kind of dull. Maybe I’ve just been living in Trump’s America
for too long but can we at least get a couch joke around here? Some
name-calling? Or, even better, they could save us time by acting like
real debaters and spreading, which is debater slang for speed talking
(they’re a cool crowd).
→ Trump pens boring op-ed in Newsweek: Okay, there’s no way that Trump
himself wrote this thing because RANDOM WORDS were not PRINTED in ALL
CAPS. But either a human being or mildly sophisticated AI did publish an
op-ed under his name in Newsweek, and it was mostly a repetition of the
economically illiterate tripe he’s been pushing for years about how
tariffs on foreign goods will somehow benefit American citizens. Trump
is a moron (sorry, comments section, it’s just true), but you’d think
even he would be able to understand that taxes on goods get passed on to
the consumer. But don’t take my word for it (again, libtard). Take
Grover Norquist’s. Or Chuck Grassley’s. Or the Tax Foundation’s. Or the
Cato Institute’s. Or Goldman Sachs’. These are not poor people or
Marxists or socialists in disguise. These are free-market capitalists
who love money, want the economy to grow, and who realize what Trump
somehow does not: Tariffs are not taxes on foreign countries. They are
taxes on the American public. That’s you, commenters. Actually, when you
put it like that, tariffs don’t sound so bad.
→ Court rules couple can’t sue Uber after shitty driver nearly kills
them: A New Jersey appeals court has ruled that Georgia and John
McGinty, a couple who were injured after their Uber driver ran a red
light and T-boned another vehicle, cannot sue the company in court and
must resolve their dispute through arbitration. Why? Because it’s in the
Uber terms of service that no one ever reads. The couple argued that
they never signed the terms of service and that their minor daughter had
accepted the TOS when ordering food through Uber Eats. The court,
however, ruled that Uber’s arbitration clause is valid and the agreement
is binding. Let this be a lesson to us all: Always, always, always read
the terms of service. Just kidding. I’d rather walk.
→ Doug the Dog: The Daily Mail reports that Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff
has been accused of assaulting an ex-girlfriend. The unnamed ex declined
to comment, but three of her friends reportedly confirmed the story,
claiming that she told them of the alleged assault years ago. They say
the incident took place during the 2012 Cannes Film Festival in France,
when Emhoff accused his then-girlfriend of flirting with a valet and
then slapped her so hard she literally spun around. Emhoff has yet to
comment on the allegations, but in August he did admit that he cheated
on his ex-wife and the mother of his children with the nanny, which is a
bit at odds with his persona as chief “wife guy” and supporter of women.
Of course, without eyewitnesses, it would be impossible to know exactly
if this happened, but in the words of Kamala Harris, we here at TGIF
world headquarters #BelieveSurvivors. No word yet if her husband’s
(alleged) survivor counts. ...
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